Dreams & Purpose

Tuesday 7th Aug 2007 11:55am

First of all, i would like to say a very happy birthday to Bryan, Bojun and Isaac on their coming birthdays. Birthdays are to be cherished and celebrated. I came to this realisation lately when i got a visit by a stranger. More on that later.

Right now, just like to apologise that i really have no time to get any presents for them. I know Bojun wants a new wallet and Isaac wants a new phone. LOL. I feel like Santa Clause, minus the fats and beard. I'll find time somehow.

Now, what would you do if you find out you have only a certain number of days left to live? I thought i would never have this problem until i had my fortune told by a stranger one day at a very famous temple in town. Now i know what you are saying, that such things can't be taken too seriously cause a majority of it is just some blah blah hoo ha. But as i myself do bone reading, there are some elements that i know to be true and i have to accept.

Besides, knowing my fortune can also help me to put my life into perspective. The fortune teller told me i will die at the age of 35. That means i have about 8 years left to live. Why is this important to me? For one thing, i realised that not many people have the luxuary of knowing WHEN they are going to die. We have healthy and fit 16 year old boy who can just drop dead after a run, some poor fella who is just trying to take a stroll in the park just to have a tree fall onto him, killing him instantly. Knowing when you will die may not be a bad thing after all. At least it gives me time to take stock of my life. The things i have done, good or bad, to seek forgiveness for the things i have done wrong to others. What would YOU do if you find out you only have so many days left to live on this earth?

There are still many things i want to do in this life. I want to travel the world, earn some money to buy the things i want. And YES, i also want to set up my own family, to carry my child in my arms and tell him or her how much i love them with all my heart. I also want to see my real family reunited together, to have a meal as a family together. So many things that i want to do. I want to find love. Experience it. All these things i wanna do before i expire.

But these are just wishes. If the fortune teller is right with his prediction, i have 8 more years left on this earth, then getting a GF and marrying would be out of the question. I mean, it won't be fair to my wife and any children that i might have right?

So many things i think about in retrospect. And then i wonder if i have made any mark to any lives that i have encountered up till now. My juniors and those who are close to me. What do they think of me? are the feelings positive or negative? Would they shed a tear for me if i were to die? would i be missed?

Would i be forgiven for the mistakes that i have done to people? Could i forgive those who have done me wrong?

Now, i take things a step at a time. Since i have no love nor anyone by my side, i will just live my day as it comes. Work, come back home, eat, sleep, next day work again.

Maybe dying at 35 is not such a bad idea after all.

EarlGrey